


Give It Up

by bvngeegvm



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, First Time, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Not Beta Read, Past Relationship(s), Recreational Drug Use, Underage Drinking, underground rapper mark lee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:27:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24513058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bvngeegvm/pseuds/bvngeegvm
Summary: “Do I seem easy to you?”Mark does laugh now. “Do you want me to be honest?”“Yes.” He says shortly.“I don’t think I’d have a problem getting you to spread your legs for me.”“If that was the case...” he murmurs, “Wouldn’t I have done it by now?”
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Mark Lee/Park Jisung (NCT)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 158





	Give It Up

**Author's Note:**

> *clown noises*

Mark isn’t famous, per se but there is a significant difference between well, their significance in this world. 

Mark wouldn’t even know he existed if not for Jaemin. He remembers the aftermath of one of his shows, Mark still sweaty and pupils blown from the adrenaline, staring Jisung down like he wanted to eat him. 

Jisung had been incredibly flustered, too aware of the way he fit in his clothes and the way he didn’t fit in this scene. But Mark hadn’t cared, had wanted him anyway but didn’t quite know what to do with Jisung’s interest and awkwardness that made it seem like he was indifferent to the look Mark was giving him. 

It didn’t help that Mark was older than him and Jisung was just a freshman in college still stumbling blindly with barely any guidance from Jaemin. It didn’t help that Mark was experienced and Jisung only had one kiss under his belt given to him by the very person who dragged him out. 

And it certainly didn’t help that Mark decided that maybe Jisung wasn’t worth the effort because by the end of the night he has a pretty girl in his lap, fingers inching up her skirt while he makes eye contact with Jisung.

Jisung jerks off to the thought of Mark’s dark eyes and how it would feel if Jisung was the one sitting pretty in his lap. 

+++

It’s later that he realizes they never exchanged any words. He wonders if it’s always like that for Mark. All it takes is a look before he has whoever he wants in his bed. 

Jisung remembers the way heat licked up his spine and thinks it probably is. 

Jaemin brings him to another one of Mark’s shows. Jisung wanders off at the end, declining Jaemin’s offer to head backstage. He doesn’t know if he can handle being stared at like that again. He shakes his head. As if he wanted anything else. This music isn’t his favorite, it’s not like he has any reason to be here. Jaemin only invited him because he knows Jisung would never leave his dorm otherwise. 

“Hey,” a voice says beside him, squeezing in close at the bar. Jisung turns, finds himself looking down at Mark and feels his cheeks heat. “Jaemin never brings his boys around twice unless they’re Lee Jeno. You must be pretty special.”

His mouth is curled into a smirk but his eyes are calculating. Trying to see if Jisung is free to have. Jisung cringes at the thought of being one of “Jaemin’s boys.” “I’m not Jaemin’s anything.”

Mark leans closer, hand brushing against his arm and Jisung’s breath hitches. “Oh?” 

Jisung pulls away, eyes narrowed into his drink oddly embarrassed. “What do you want?”

“Whatever you want,” He says in response. “You think I didn’t notice how you were looking at me the last time?”

“I don’t like being made fun of,” Jisung snaps with a sharp look. 

Mark raises his hands in defense. “Hey, relax. I’m not making fun of you. M’just trying to see what you’re about.”

Jisung rolls his eyes. “I’m not easy.” Because he’s trying really hard not to be but his stomach is fluttering in anticipation. 

“Really,” Mark says flatly like he’s trying not to laugh but his eyes are terribly amused. 

“Do I seem easy to you?”

Mark does laugh now. “Do you want me to be honest?”

“Yes.” He says shortly. 

“I don’t think I’d have a problem getting you to spread your legs for me.” 

“If that was the case...” he murmurs, “Wouldn’t I have done it by now?” 

Mark laughs again, stepping into Jisung space, exuding confidence. “I like you,” he says. Jisung blushes down to his neck and Mark’s eyes follow it. “I’ll see you around...?”

“Jisung,” he tells him too quickly. 

“Alright, Jisung,” he smirks and oh, Jisung is already gone. “Let me know when you wanna start being easy.”

+++

“You don’t think it’s a little weird you keep going after this freshman?” Jeno says, pointing his chopsticks at Mark threateningly. 

“It’s not like I’m trying to date him. It’s just not everyday I get told no.” Mark rolls his eyes at Jeno’s glare. “Jaemin hasn’t told me to back off and they’re practically attached at the hip. If he doesn’t care why do you?”

“So you’re trying to pressure him into saying yes?”

“Obviously if he wants me to back off I will. But you didn’t see the way he looked at me.”

Jeno scoffs. “You’re delusional. You and Jaemin need help.”

“Says the one who keeps fucking Jaemin.”

“Shut up!”

+++  
He tells Renjun and Donghyuck about his dilemma because Jaemin is obviously off the list. 

“Why don’t you just fuck him?” Renjun asks, plopping down on the couch beside Donghyuck, kicking his feet in his lap. “You obviously have a crush on him.”

“Which is a horrible idea, by the way.”

Jisung does not need to hear that from Donghyuck, he already knows how awful it is. “I don’t just want to be a one night stand.”

Donghyuck’s face softens slightly. “Then Mark hyung definitely isn’t the person you want to pursue.” 

“He’s a fuckboy Jisung and he’s friends with Jaemin. I don’t know why you’re expecting anything from him,” Renjun says bluntly. 

Donghyuck nods along. “He’s a good lay, I’ll give him that, but—“

“You had sex with him!?” Jisung in disbelief. 

“Who hasn’t?” Donghyuck shrugs. 

Jisung turns his eyes to Renjun. “Hey don’t look at me! He’s not my type.”

“He’s everyone’s type.”

“Oh yeah? Did he tell you that line?” Renjun sneers, eyes rolling. 

Donghyuck snickers. “That sounds like something he would say.”

Jisung groans, sinking lower in his chair. 

+++

Mark makes him nervous. Not because he wants Jisung for sex and Jisung has never had it, but because he’s easy to read to Mark in ways he shouldn’t be because theyre strangers. 

Mark makes him nervous because he’s popular and he knows it. Because he’s talented and he knows it. Because eventually he won’t try so hard to get into Jisung’s pants because it’s too much effort and Jisung will be nothing to him again. 

But he hasn’t given up yet which is strange. He touches because he wants to and his eyes linger on Jisung because they can. 

“When are you gonna let him fuck?” Jaemin says, voice nearly pleading. “I’m sick of hearing him talk about you.”

Jisung cuts his eyes back over to Mark who’s still staring, even as he slots a thigh between some pretty boys legs. “He talks about me?” 

“More like fantasizes,” Jaemin grumbles. Mark smirks at him one last time before turns away with the boy draped around him. 

“Sure,” Jisung says, not sure he believes him. There’s no way Mark thinks about him the same way Jisung does when he sees Mark on stage, hips rolling with a hand on his crotch as he brags about how he’s the best at everything. 

+++ 

Even though he knew Mark went to the same university as him, (how else would he know Jaemin), Seeing him is a different story. 

Mark looks delighted which is strange. Jisung has yet to see another emotion on his face other than lust or his adrenaline high from his performances. It puts him in a new light. 

It feels like a trap. 

Jisung happily walks into it. Its not like Jisung could ignore him. They’ve talked too many nights t and Jisung has been to too many of his shows to do that. He doesn’t think Mark would take well to being ignored anyway. 

So Mark catches him, stares at his mouth in the daylight instead of the cover of club mist and party lights and Jisung is so weak to those eyes, dilated and wanting. 

It’s too hard for him to hide this way. 

So Jisung lets Mark push him into the back of his car, let’s Mark undo his jeans and wraps his legs around his waist. He lets Mark finger him open until he’s sobbing into Mark’s leather seats and even after that, when Jisung is overstimulated and twitching. He lets Mark come on his face, on his mouth and flushes when Mark tells him this is when he’s the prettiest. 

Jisung cleans his glasses while Mark buckled up his jeans. “Happy now?” He says quietly. “Finally got what you wanted.”

Mark hums a little. “That’s not all I want from you.” He says, tilting Jisung’s chin towards him. Jisung is scared he’s going to kiss him for a second but then Mark’s fingers press into his mouth. Jisung’s sucks, the only prompting comes from the raise of Mark’s eyebrows. “That was more for you than it was for me, don't you think?”

Jisung wants to argue because Mark came on his face when Jisung barely processed his jumble of thoughts ranging from _oh I’m naked_ to _oh he’s fingering me._ “I guess,” he agrees instead. 

“I’ll text you, yeah?” Jisung agrees with a nod of his head. “Need a ride?”

“No,” he says flatly, already preparing to scramble out of Mark’s car awkwardly. “I’ll call Jaemin hyung.” 

“I can take—“

Jisung slams the door on Mark’s stupid face and his stupid offer, making his walk of shame without looking back.

+++  
Mark does not text him and Jisung doesn’t text him either. His chem labs have been kicking his ass, he doesn’t have time to brood over the fact that Mark is the first person that touched him in that way. 

Or that fact that he really was just a conquest to Mark despite his words. Maybe he wasn’t good enough but he remembered being pliant and Mark telling him how good and perfect he was—

He shakes his head, pushing his goggles further up his face. He’s being stupid. His friends told him that Mark wasn’t going to treat him like he was special, he shouldn't be disappointed they were right. 

Then Jaemin takes all of them to another one of Mark’s shows. Renjun and Donghyuck get lost on the dance floor immediately but Jaemin and Jisung linger by the bar. His eyes search the club for Mark, despite himself. 

Still, he’s surprised when Mark drapes an arm around his shoulders. He tucks Jisung into his side like he didn’t ghost him for weeks. Jisung tries not to tense at Jaemin’s dubious expression but it’s hard when Mark pulls him in close like they’re dating or something. “I didn’t realize you two were so close,” Jaemin says carefully 

Jisung shrugs Mark off of him, “Were not,” he tells him at the same time Mark says,  
“We hang out.”

Mark smiles, all teeth and Jisung sneers. Mark grins wider but his eyes are predatory, slightly annoyed but dark with interest. Jisung swallows. He’s going home with him again tonight. 

“Don’t lie,” Jisung snaps. 

“Anyway,” Mark says, looking at Jaemin. “Jeno’s here. Come backstage?”

Jisung frowns at that. This is the second time Mark has mentioned Jeno so he can’t be anyone other than Jaemin’s most recent fuck buddy. 

“Yeah, I’ll be there. Just let me talk to Sungie.”

Jisung flushes at the way Mark laughs loud at the nickname. “Alright, you talk to _Sungie._ We’ll be waiting.” 

Jaemin catches his wrist when Mark is gone, forcing him to make eye contact. “Sungie, are you sure you wanna play that game with Mark?”

“I’m not doing anything with Mark hyung.”

“Okay...” he agrees hesitantly. 

“Don’t worry about me. Mark hyung isn't doing anything different than what you are,” he snaps, annoyed that Jaemin is being a hypocrite.

Jaemin rears up, defensive. “You don’t know shit.”

“Well neither do you.”

The both glare at each other until Jaemin backs off. “Fine,” he snaps. “Now are you coming or what?”

Jisung fidgets. Mark didn’t invite him backstage. He has no business going back there. At least for once he’s dressed to actually be here but now Jaemin wants to ruin it with promises of extra time with Mark. “I…”

Jaemin rolls his eyes. “It’s chill, come on.”

It is chill like Jaemin said. It’s weird to see Mark so relaxed. He’s only ever seen him aggressive or dominant in everything he does, but here, he sits calmly, fingers tracing the pages of a worn notebook, cigarette dangling from his mouth. 

Jisung was expecting a party but what he gets in just Mark, shoulders relaxed and humming surrounded by a handful of strangers. 

“Hey,” Mark says, eyebrows ticked up. “Never thought I’d see you back here.”

“Should I go?” He asks carefully. 

“If you want,” he shrugs and it sounds so much like an _I don’t care,_ Jisung almost leaves. “Or you could stay.”

“Oh,” He says, flushing a little at the way conversation lulls upon hearing Mark’s words, like everyone in this room is just as surprised as him. Mark beckons him closer, pulls Jisung in his lap once he’s close enough and conversation resumes like this is normal.

“You look good like this.”

“In your lap?” He asks, flatly. 

Mark actually snorts, hands falling to his hips. “That’s not what I meant, but yes. I guess you do.”

“What did you mean?”

“These clothes, the contacts, you look good.”

Jisung’s stomach twists, a confusing mix of embarrassment and arousal. “You don’t like how I usually dress then?”

“I like it fine,” Mark argues back, exasperated. “But you fit like this. Like you should be at my side.”

An explosion of butterflies burst in his stomach. “Is that what you want?” 

Mark laughs in his face and Jisung nearly flinches. “If you’re gonna make me look good, then yeah.”

Ten more steps back, Jisung walks even as Mark pulls him further into his lap. 

+++

He wishes he could say he held off, that he didn’t fall face first into Mark’s plan but that would be a lie. Mark is so compelling and the ‘wyd?’ texts have been coming more frequently so much so Jisung works up the courage to text Mark first. Which led them to this. 

Jisung is too expressive for him to just press him face down into the mattress, Mark decides somewhere between Jisung sucking him off and moaning with three fingers pressed inside him. 

So Mark gets a pillow under his hips and gets Jisung’s legs around his waist, guiding his cock inside where he’s sloppy and wet. 

He gasps when Mark puts the head in, mouth falling open, blush furthering down his neck. 

His legs twitch when Mark bottoms out, one curling around the back of his thigh to urge him closer. “There you go,” he laughs, a little breathless himself. “You take me so well.”

Jisung’s back arches off the bed and Mark holds his hips down, his other hand going to his hair to bare his throat. He thrusts into his wet heat and Jisung moans, loud and unashamed, Mark can feel the vibrations when he sucks at his neck. It’s been a long time since he’s had someone respond to him like this. It’s taking everything in him not to fuck him right through the mattress just to hear those pretty whines some more. 

He wants to touch him everywhere. His slim thighs and thin hips, his pale throat and bony wrists. He could fuck him slow, all long strokes and teasing thrusts but Jisung doesn’t want that and Mark is kind of terrified he even considered it. Jisung spreads his legs wider, gasping out, “Harder, please hyung—“

Maybe next time he’ll make him beg but for now he fucks into Jisung without abandon, skin slapping against skin and sweat pooling everywhere. He just _takes_ it, small whines leaving his throat each time Mark fucks inside. But Jisung still wants more. His back arches off the bed demanding, urging Mark deeper. “Hyung!” He cries out, scratching down Mark’s back and damn, he likes the desperation in his voice. 

He’s so loud, broken gasps and whines but Mark doesn’t care, just sucks on his nipples until his voice is pitching into a scream, _hyunghyunghyung_ dropping from his bruised lips. And Mark doesn’t have a kink but he just might if Jisung keeps calling out for him like that. 

He gets a hand between them, wraps it around Jisung’s cock and that’s all it takes before he’s coming hot and wet in Mark’s hand. “Fuck, that’s hot,” he keeps pressing into Jisung delighted at the way he squirms, “You can still take me right, beautiful?” 

Jisung nods, tears already clouding his eyes from the overstimulation but Mark keeps fucking into him, feeling every twitch of his hole urging him deeper and clenching around him until he comes, filling up the condom. “You’re a fucking dream,” he groans. 

Jisung whimpers when he pulls out, soft and quiet. His head lulls to the side and Mark admires his handy work. He’s going to be so pissed when he notices the amount of hickies Mark left. Never mind the finger shaped bruise on his hip that’s going to ache for days. “Lemme clean you up,” Mark murmurs, leaving to go get a damp washcloth. 

He wipes Jisung down before the towel joins the condom somewhere on the floor. His hands linger though, on the bruise he left, brushing his knuckles over it. Jisung clears his throat. Mark pulls away. “I should go,” he says carefully. 

Mark nods, looking away before he can do something stupid like tell him to stay. “Need a ride?”

“No,” he says softly, already reaching for his clothes. The way he dresses is sad and slow. Like he thinks this was a one time thing. And it should be but Mark wants more of Jisung all the time. He sits up straighter, so startled by the thought he doesn’t notice Jisung is already halfway out the door. “I’ll see you later?”  
Jisung asks, almost hopeful. 

“Bye, Sungie,” he answers not a yes, not a no but it doesn’t even sound teasing to his own ears.

+++

Next time he sees Mark he’s already faded out of his mind from the edibles Jaemin gave him. A few hours ago he moved to the floor to sit and he just hasn’t been able to move since. He didn’t think Mark was real at first as he crouched in front of Jisung. He was there, he wasn’t, Jisung had seen him ten times already, he had seen him zero. 

Mark bursts out laughing and it focuses him. “Holy shit, you’re _gone._ Jaem, what the fuck did you give him?”

Jaemin enters the room, snorting at Jisung’s heavy lidded eyes. “You ate the whole bag?”

Jisung nods, toes twitching in the carpet. It feels nice, his brain is too clouded for him to think of any other objectives. Mark curls a hand around his ankle like he’s trying to pull him back to Earth. “He’s gonna be on his ass for _hours._

“He likes it,” Jaemin shrugs. “He’s double majoring, this is the only way he’ll relax. Give him some time and he’ll start studying and shit.”

“No way!”

“Yeah one time we did shrooms and—“

“Hold on Sungie did shrooms!?”

Jisung curls a hand in his collar and Mark stops talking, peering down at Jisung like he’s seeing him for the first time. Jisung is too high to dissect that look so he pulls him closer instead because he wants to— Mark disentangles his hands. “Yeah, I don’t do that,” he says. If Jisung were sober he’d be more humiliated that he just tried to kiss him. 

Instead he demands, “Why not?”

“Were not dating,” Mark says simply. 

“It’s just kissing,” Jisung counters. “Kiss me.”

“You’re fucked,” Mark chuckles. “Talk to me when you’re sober,” he presses a blunt to Jisung’s mouth like he doesn’t want him to remember anything at all. Jisung inhales instinctively and Mark tells him he’s good. 

Mark sucks the smoke from his mouth like hes placating him. Second best thing, just like Jisung is to him. 

He wants to cry. Mark says, “Don’t look at me like that,” like he knows just as much. 

+++

“Come out with us,” Jaemin practically whines. He’s already plastered along with Donghyuck from the extremely loud pregaming they were doing in the kitchen. “Cooooome,” he sings, tugging on Jisung’s hand. 

Renjun enters the room too, a drunk Donghyuck hanging off his shoulders and mouthing noisily at his neck. Jisung tilts his head curiously at that. Renjun seems completely unfazed, even going as far as to curl his fingers around Donghyuck’s. As far as Jisung knows they aren’t dating or even fucking, but they have always acted like an old married couple. But Renjun is sober now and is allowing Donghyuck to suck a hickey into his skin like it's a regular occurrence so that goes to show what Jisung knows. 

“Please,” Renjun says, “I need help taking care of these two.”

Jisung thinks about it. He knows they’re just going to dinner so it should be fine and drunk Jaemin and Donghyuck means plenty a black mail material. Plus, it means a free meal. “Can I bring Chenle?”

“Of course!” Jaemin shouts, squishing Jisung’s cheeks. “Both of my cute dongsaengs!” 

“Fine,” he agrees, already texting Chenle to meet them. 

In hindsight, he should have asked just who they were going to meet with. 

Because the sight of Mark sitting in the booth is the last one he wants to see tonight. He already saw too much of Mark two days ago when Mark ate him out until he came untouched. 

“What the fuck,” he hisses to Renjun, who looks too smug. 

“What?”

“You couldn’t tell me he was gonna be here? I look like trash!” He hisses, gesturing to his oversized shirt hanging off his collarbones and his black sweats. 

“I don’t think he minds how you look,” Renjun says, smirking. 

Jisung sends a furtive glance over to Mark, whose eyes are crinkled and mischievous. “I’m getting drunk,” he threatens. “I’m getting so drunk and you have to take care of all three of us alone so ha!” 

“You can’t—!”

“I can and I will!” Jisung says, stomping over to Mark. It would be weird if he sat in the booth beside the other black haired boy joining them considering he doesn’t even know his name so he has no choice but to get in beside Mark. 

“Hey, Sungie,” Mark says, a chuckle already building in his voice like it always does when he says the nickname. Jisung glares. 

“Don’t call me that.”

“Oh? Only Jaemin gets to call you whatever he wants then, huh?” He asks. Jisung shivers as his voice grazes over his ear pitched dark and low. 

“Who are you?” The other black haired boy snaps. Jisung looks up at the rude tone, frowning. His eyes are narrowed, lips pursed. 

“...Jisung,” He says slowly, wondering what he did to be on the receiving end of that look. 

Mark laughs. “Aw, Jeno don’t be jealous! I’m just fucking with him.” 

Jeno’s facial expression changes all at once. Jisung sees the way his eyes drop down to Mark’s hand where it rest against his collarbone and the hollow of his throat, possessive and burning. Suddenly his eyes are filled with pity and he hates it. “Oh,” he says shortly. Then Jaemin is sliding into the circular booth beside Jeno and he’s too busy to say anything at all. Jisung tracks Jaemin’s hands too as they sink into Jeno’s hair and tilt his head up to kiss him. He notices the way Jeno melts when Jaemin touches his cheek and wonders if he looks just as pathetic. 

“What took you guys so long?” 

“We were waiting outside for Chenle,” Renjun says quickly. 

Jisung narrows his eyes. “Well where is he?” 

Donghyuck snorts, pulling away from Renjun to plop in his seat beside Jisung. Jisung catches sight of a hickey on Donghyuck’s throat, still slick and shiny and notes Renjun’s bruised lips. Mark laughs against the shell of his ear but it sounds strained. His eyes flit all over Donghyuck who’s glaring back. “I didn’t know you knew Lee Donghyuck,” he says after Renjun distracts Donghyuck. 

“I didn’t think it was important.” Mark’s jaw clenches when he stares at Renjun touching Donghyuck. Jisung feels small and insignificant. All of Mark’s attention is on them. He’s a combination of jealous and disappointed. It’s a nauseating feeling. 

“When did they become a thing?” 

Jisung shakes his head, watching the front door of the restaurant open and Chenle stumble in. “I don’t even wanna know,” he mumbles. He needs a drink so he can stop feeling hurt and ignored. 

Despite his open denial, Jisung is a lightweight. It only takes three shots before Jisung is leaning into Mark, pressing against his side.

Jisung is just aware enough to notice Mark’s lapse in conversation, the way he tenses slightly before he drops his arm to curl around Jisung’s shoulder, fingers dipping into his shirt. 

He’s not sober enough to pull away though, despite his embarrassment and the concerned look Chenle throws at him. He just demands another shot and continues to fill himself up on the grilled meats Mark keeps loading onto his plate. 

By the fifth shot, he lets Mark’s hands start to wander. It could’ve been an accident but Jisung his sure it’s on purpose, the way Mark’s arm falls away from his shoulder and lands on his thigh. He startled slightly, looking at Mark who doesn’t even bother turning to him. So Jisung ignores it, turning back to his conversation with Donghyuck. 

Then Mark’s hand skims over his dick, bypassing it to press right under his shirt, against his stomach where the skin is warm and sticky from the heat of the grill. He hiccups a little, pouring himself another shot because he is still too aware for Mark to be touching him like this. 

He leans back when Mark pulls him closer, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. “You look pretty,” he murmurs. 

Jisung shakes his head, his flush from the alcohol deepening. Donghyuck raises his eyebrows at them, looking shocked. Jisung wants to asks what his expression is supposed to mean but he feels like Donghyuck wouldn’t tell him even if Mark wasn’t right there, pulling Jisung halfway into his lap. “You’re coming home with me, yeah?”

Jisung hadn’t planned on it. He also hadn’t planned on getting drunk either but here he was, warm and fuzzy and leaning into Mark’s kisses like they’re something meant just for him. So he nods and Mark grins against his nape like he figured as much. 

Then Mark let’s him go, arms vanishing from around his waist and returning to his thigh as he strikes up another conversation with Chenle. 

Later, when Jisung reaches for shot seven (eight?) Mark’s hand stops him. Jisung looks at him for what feels like the first time and the millionth time tonight. “Hey,” he says, tilting Jisung’s chin up. Jisung’s heart plummets at the thought of Mark kissing him here and now in front of all his friends. He’s too sober to do that though. Jisung doesn’t think he’s seen Mark take a single shot. “What’re you trying to forget, hmm?”

Jisung lowers the bottle of soju. “Nothing.”

“Sober up for me, baby. I got some things I want you to remember.”

Jisung’s stomach clenches both at the pet name and the promise in his words and his eyes. “Ok, hyung.”

A shout breaks them out of their bubble. “Hyung!?” Donghyuck cries. “Excuse me! We,” he gestures to Renjun, Jaemin, and himself “hardly ever get that kind of respect!”

“Why are you listening to my conversation!” Jisung cries. 

Mark laughs beside him, placing a placating hand on the small of his back. Jisung curls towards him. He can’t wait to go home with him. 

+++

Mark catches up to him right before he’s about to leave and Jisung is in the bathroom. “Hey. Hyuckie, can we talk?”

Donghyuck raises his eyes from his phone, sneering a little. “Sure.”

Now that he’s looking at him for the first time in almost a year he doesn’t know what to say. He’s thought about how this conversation could go hundreds of times and now he’s drawing a blank. 

Renjun is the one that stops him from making a fool of himself. 

“As much as we all know you two need to have this conversation,” Renjun starts, already stepping between them. “I would prefer if he was sober when you had it.”

Mark tries to tamp down on the anger that flares inside him that’s been simmering all night since he’s seen Renjun doting on Donghyuck. His head is a confusing mess of feelings because as much as he doesn’t want a relationship with Donghyuck anymore a part of him will always be jealous. “You don’t have to protect him from me,” he snaps. 

Renjun rolls his eyes. “He needs closure and so do you. I want him to remember the shit when he actually gets it.”

Mark opens his mouth to argue some more but then Jisung is grabbing his hand, tucking himself into Mark's side. Mark looks down, brushing his hair away from his forehead. Jisung leans into it before Mark can catch himself. “Did you drive, hyung?” 

Mark swallows. There’s also this that’s confusing. The reasons why the pain Donghyuck left eases when he looks at Jisung that Mark doesn’t want to examine closely. “Yeah. Ready to go?” Jisung nods, so Mark gives him the keys. “I’ll meet you in a sec.”

“Oh,” Donghyuck says quietly. Mark looks back over to them and is surprised to see Donghyuck teary-eyed. “You used to look at me like that.”

His stomach sinks. “I don’t—“ he clears his throat because the last thing he wants to do is unpack that one. “Goodnight.”

+++

Jisung is a live wire, wide awake and drunk as he sinks to his knees. They’re barely past the threshold and Mark hadn’t even planned on asking for head but here Jisung is, giving it to him. 

He unzips Mark’s jeans and rugs them off his hips. It’s the most forward he’s ever been and it’s endearing. He’s not hard yet but Jisung’s wet lips and needy eyes won’t have a problem getting him there. 

“You’re so drunk,” palming the back of Jisung’s head to guide him down to Mark’s cock. 

Jisung disagrees vehemently. “M’not drunk. I feel great, would be better with your dick in my mouth.”

“I hear you,” Mark laughs, watching the pink of Jisung’s cheeks spread over his nose. “C’mon then, suck me off.”

Jisung swallows him all the way down, his cock nudging the back of his throat. Mark almost comes right then, shocked by how easy it is for Jisung to take him down. He’s definitely not shy when he’s drunk. 

Jisung moans around his length, fingers curling in the soft skin behind his knee. “You’re practically begging me to fuck you,” he murmurs, pressing his thumb against Jisung’s bulging cheek. 

Jisung pulls off, tongue flicking at the head. “Yeah,” he agrees. “Fuck my mouth.” Mark doesn’t need to be told twice. He’s uncaring as he presses into the wet heat of his mouth, hips rolling just to see what Jisung can handle. 

When his throat relaxes even more Mark fucks his mouth harder. It’s the sloppiest head he’s ever gotten and he loves it. Jisung is a mess, tears on his flushed cheeks, eyes fluttering with every thrust. “M’close.” Jisung moans in response, hand going between his thighs. “Lemme come on your face, make you real pretty.” 

He nods as best it can and Mark pulls out, hand curling around his spit slick cock and jacking it fast and hard until he splatters on Jisung’s face. It drips from his lashes, his cheeks, but Mark is proud that most of it got in his mouth at least close to it. 

Mark sinks to his knees and shoves his fingers in Jisung’s mouth. His hand joins Jisung’s where it’s wrapped around his dick. “Made for sucking me off, huh?”

Jisung doesn’t agree nor disagree to busy moaning to say anything as he comes all over both their hands. Too easy, Mark thinks but doesn’t say because he doesn’t feel like pissing Jisung off tonight. 

“You wanna stay?”

“I could go,” Jisung says, shifting uncomfortably because this is new territory that he isn’t sure he wants to be in. 

“Yeah,” Mark agrees easily, kind of disappointed Jisung still thinks he isn’t wanted. “Or you could stay.”

It’s as close to a please as he’ll get so Jisung stays. 

+++

Mark looks at Jisung asleep in his bed, blanket around his bare hips. He hasn’t had someone sleep next to him since Donghyuck. He grazes the dip of his spine and Jisung rolls closer to him. 

He has to stop this. He’s getting too vulnerable. He can’t afford to let feelings fuck up everything he’s built. Not again. 

To Jeno:  
Let’s go out tonight.  
Need a good lay. 

Jeno starts typing then stops. Then starts again too long for the simple okay he receives in response. 

Mark is thankful Jeno kept whatever rant he had prepared to himself for once. 

+++

He texts the group chat the next day as soon as he leaves Mark’s apartment. 

From Jisung:

I spent the night at Mark hyung’s apartment. 

Hyuckie Hyung:  
Ew. 

Lele:  
Disgusting. 

Tiny Hyung:  
Why are you telling us that?

From Jisung:  
To sleep!

Jaeminie Hyung:  
Wait what?

Hyuckie Hyung:  
Seriously?

From Jisung:  
Does that mean something?

Jisung wants it to mean something but he was drunk and it was easier for Mark to let him stay. Never mind the fact that he fucked Jisung the early morning like that was his plan all along, fingers sliding over sleep warm skin, panting into his neck like he needed him—

Jaeminie Hyung:  
Why don’t you try asking mark?

Tiny Hyung:  
Yeah because Mark totally isn’t a dense asshole

Hyuckie Hyung:  
It probably meant nothing Sungie. 

and then:  
Sorry. 

Jisung tosses his phone aside. Yeah, like that helps. 

+++

Mark groans frustrated into his lukewarm beer. “That’s like the third girl to curve me tonight.”

“Well yeah,” Jeno snorts. “They've probably been been hearing the same weird things about you I have.”

Mark rolls his eyes. So Jeno saved the rant for when he had Mark in person. He should’ve known. “Yeah, well. It’s annoying.”

Jeno snorts. “That people think you’re emotionally available?”

“People think I’m soft,” Mark snaps. “Never mind the fact that hardly anyone wants to fuck me anymore and if they do they’re sleazy.”

“Plenty of people have significant others and are still rappers, Mark. And it’s not like you’re fucking anyone else anyway,” Jeno points out, like the reason the rumors started isn’t because of that. The fact that it’s been no one but Jisung for weeks. Not for lack of trying on Mark’s part but if he’s being honest with himself (which he isn’t), he hasn’t wanted anyone else for weeks. He can’t remember the last time he enjoyed the chase after someone like he does every single time with Jisung. 

“Not like Jisung.”

Jeno glares, voice cold. “Because he doesn’t fit? Because he’s not a groupie, right?”

“Jeno. You’re one of my closest friends. You really think I’m that shallow? We’re not even dating, Jen! Besides it’s not like you like him!”

“But I’m not an asshole!” Jeno snaps. “I don’t want him to get hurt because you can’t even see—“ Jeno breaks off with a frustrated noise. 

“Oh bullshit! You’re just trying to live through him because you can’t figure out your shit with Jaemin!” Mark yells back. 

Jeno’s face shutters, completely blank and Mark wants to take back the words immediately. All the nights Jeno’s came home, crying because Jaemin will never want him in that way, and Mark just threw it back in his face. “Jen… fuck I’m sorry.”

“Fuck. You.” 

+++  
It’s not often that Jeno shows up when Jisung is here, for obvious reasons. Hell, despite hearing his name multiple times and knowing Jaemin had a fuckbuddy, he didn’t even know what he looked like until that night of Korean barbecue. 

It’s clear it’s not often Jeno shows up unannounced either, because Jaemin is surprised to see him. Jisung even thinks he sees a hint of concern pass over his face. “Hey,” Jaemin says, “Everything okay?” It’s in the way Jaemin touched his face, tender and reverent that Jisung knows he’s already been forgotten. 

“Yeah. I just,” he breaks off, sucks in a harsh breathe. He sounds like he’s about to cry. “I don’t know why I came here,” he admits stiffly.

“What happened?”

“I got in a fight with Mark and…” he looks away from Jaemin and that’s when he notices Jisung sitting there, listening to them. The pity in his eyes is so clear, Jisung feels it pressing against him. He looks away when Jaemin calls his attention, a hand skimming down his cheek. 

“And?” 

“I should go,” he says suddenly and Jaemin, to his surprise, panics. 

“Stay! We don’t— look we don’t have to fuck, just stay. At least until you feel better.”

The words clearly make Jeno feel worse but he steps inside anyway. He’s so weak for him. He knows Jeno sees the same weakness in Jisung and that’s why his eyes are always sad when he sees him. 

He feels sick. Mark doesn’t have that kind of control over him, he tells himself but he knows it’s a lie. 

+++

Jeno isn’t bad company, he finds. They end up getting tipsy on red wine that Jaemin had stocked up and talking for hours. 

“Has Mark hyung always been this mean?” Jisung says tentatively. 

“No,” Jeno answers at the same time Jaemin says, “He’s not mean.”

Jisung and Jeno both send him a dubious look. “He’s not mean to me,” Jaemin amends. 

“You don’t live with him.”

“You don’t fuck him.”

“Fair point, I’ll shut up.”

Jeno giggles, “You do that, love.”

Jisung is awestruck by the look of fondness that overtakes Jaemin’s face, even as he rolls his eyes. Jeno must be really stupid if he thinks this is still unrequited. “Tell me about Mark hyung. How he was before.”

“It’s kind of hard to explain. It’s not like Mark is famous. He’s not an idol, that’s for sure but his following is bigger than most underground rappers. It started to get to his fat head in the middle of our Junior year of college. He realized he could make tons of money doing what he loved but he’s too good at it. He’s too good at _everything.”_

Jisung can sense the frustration Jeno feels. He remembers thinking the same thing about Mark when they first met too. “The sleeping around came later. Like after Donghyuck broke things off—“

“Wait what? What do you mean broke things off?”

Jeno looks bewildered at Jisung’s voice which is nearly a yell. “They dated off and on for most of our sophomore and junior year but you know Renjun was always there and Mark was always jealous. Donghyuck got tired of the arguing and broke it off. He moved in with Renjun and Mark moved on with too many bodies. He hasn’t been the same since.”

“He got his heartbroken,” Jisung murmurs, still shocked that Donghyuck dated Mark and never thought that was information Jisung needed to know.

Jeno laughs a little. “I guess so, yeah. But it was a long time coming. They were really bad for each other. It should’ve just been a fubu situation if anything but something about Donghyuck made Mark crazy.”

“And now it’s made him mean.”

“He’s afraid, I think. He lost a lot of money after Donghyuck. He couldn’t perform with the same energy, if he was even sober enough to perform at all and it cost him fans, money, a record deal—“

Jisung jolts. “Holy shit. It was that bad?”

Jeno nods his head. “He’s different, not as soft as he was before but it’s not the music that made him that way. But he’s the same in a lot of ways too. Kinda dumb, laughs at everything, eat sleeps and breathes music. He’s a good person, just a little messed up like the rest of us.”

Jaemin pipes up for the first time since Jeno started talking. “You must scare him a lot, Jisung.” 

“What do you mean by that?”

“He’s different around you. Mark doesn’t really do pda but he’s always all over you. It’s weird to see him with the same person twice. That’s why people started to talk,” Jeno answers. 

“Talk?”

“They think you two are dating and it pisses him off,” Jaemin says. “They started talking shit, saying he can’t afford to let another person fuck up his gig.”

Jisung chest fills with anger. “They’re delusional. Mark would never date me.” Jisung surely isn’t confused by what’s going on between them. Mark has made it clear Jisung is nothing but a warm body to him, reoccurring or not, he isn’t going to get his hopes up for something more even if his heart has yearned to know more than the warmth of Mark’s body for months now. 

“That’s the thing though,” Jeno says, smiling slightly. “I think he would.”

Butterflies bursts in his belly, flutter their way up his throat. He can’t. He can’t have hope like that. “Don’t.” Is all he can be bothered to say. “You don’t know how he is when we’re alone, he wouldn’t...”

“Do you want to date him?” Jaemin asks, like that’s the only thing that matters. 

“I...” he trails off because he doesn’t know. He wants plenty. He wants Mark’s hands and his mouth. He wants him soft and rough. He wants thorough kisses and arms around him. He wants palms against one another and laughs shared. He wants plenty. “I guess I do.” But Jisung would never be brave enough to say anything.

“It doesn’t hurt to try,” Jaemin says. 

Jeno and Jisung share a look that says, _oh it can hurt plenty. It already hurts too much._

+++

Jisung thinks he’s fine with their arrangement, really he is. Sure he’s realized he wants to date Mark but this is _fine._ It relieves his stress, he always gets off, and he’s comfortable with Mark in ways he doesn’t think he could get with anyone else 

He thinks he’s fine with it until Mark fucks someone else. He doesn’t even hide his intentions, he chats up some pretty girl with long legs and short hair like Jisung isn’t there. He kisses her like Jisung isn’t there and he leaves the club with her hanging off his arm like Jisung isn’t there. 

He is not fine with it. His heart breaks a little at the way Mark catches his eyes but there was no teasing glint there. His gaze slides away like Jisung was another face in the crowd and not the one he’s had in his bed for months. 

But maybe his sheets have felt the skin of others after Jisung just like they have before him. They never said anything about being exclusive. Mark probably doesn’t even know what he just did to Jisung. 

“Hey,” Jaemin said warily, touching his wrist when it doesn’t seem like Jisung is going to look away from the door Mark just disappeared through. He turns toward Jaemin and he knows he must look like he’s about to cry. Maybe he is, not that it would do him any good. “Let’s go home.”

+++

Mark doesn’t message him for days and then, ‘Come over.’ No preamble, no apology, no explanation, just another hook up. He shows up because he is weak. 

“How many others people are you fucking?” Jisung blurts. 

Mark lights up a cigarette sending him a bemused look. “Does it matter?”

Jisung grits his teeth. “It matters.”

“I always use protection if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“No— Hyung—“ he sighs frustrated at himself for getting himself in this position and frustrated at Mark for not realizing. 

“You didn’t think there was actually something between us did you?” Mark smirks and Jisung curls in on himself. Embarrassed? Ashamed? He doesn’t really care to know the complicated twist of emotions dancing in the pit of his stomach. 

“No,” He says, lies, really, between gritted teeth. 

Mark eyes soften for the briefest of seconds, stubbing out his cigarette. He curls a careful hand around Jisung’s jaw, fingers tracing the shape of his mouth. “I like you, Jisung. But I don’t want to date you. It’s not my thing.”

Jisung turns his head away and Mark’s fingers skim his throat, leaving fire in his wake. He doesn’t want to be having this conversation while Mark touches him like Jisung is his. He doesn’t want to be having this conversation at all. “C’mon don’t be like that,” Mark laughs. _I don’t like to be made fun of_ he remembers telling him. He also remembers the way Mark didn’t care, the same way he doesn’t now. 

Jisung turns to face him and Mark’s hand fall to his hips. Then he presses Jisung into the mattress. His hands are frantic almost, like he needs Jisung to forget the way last time he used them in this context it was to touch somebody else. Jisung has never seen this expression on Mark’s face before. He wants to know it’s name before he calls it guilt because that would give him too much hope. He can’t afford to think Mark feels bad about the ways he’s hurt him because he would want to forgive him. A tabula rasa so Mark can just hurt him again. 

Mark fucks him like he owns him and Jisung hates it, damn near cries because he loves it. Mark does everything like he owns it, Jisung knows. He knows he isn’t the first person to have Mark’s hands around their throat while he praised them. 

It’s not just Jisung that bows to him. It’s the way words flow together to make perfect rhymes for him. It’s the way beats mash and meld into songs. It’s the way Mark’s voice breathes life into his music. The world was meant to be owned by Mark Lee and Jisung is just living in it

+++

When Mark leaves he cries so hard to Renjun over the phone that both he and Donghyuck show up thirty minutes later and wrap him in blankets, curled around him wiping his tears. 

“I don’t know what to do,” he tells them. 

“Well don’t fuck him anymore for one,” Renjun says. 

“I think you should tell him how you feel.”

Jisung and Renjun both look at Donghyuck like he’s crazy. “You’re joking right?” Renjun says. 

“Did you listen to anything I just said or was the crying not enough proof?”

Donghyuck glares. “Shut up. I know Mark and he’s just trying to close you off but he cares.”

“He screwed someone else!”

“I know. I know and fuck him for that but I think if you told him you might be surprised by what he has to say.” 

+++

Over the course of the next few days Jisung suddenly learns his campus better than he ever has before. The new routes he takes to avoid Mark make him late to class but at least he doesn’t get trapped in Mark’s game over and over. 

It’s strange to have this sudden absence where Mark use to pour all over him on the weekends, in between classes, during lunch, when he was studying. 

Jisung knows last time was the last time he could bring himself to fuck Mark, though. If he didn’t stop then, Jeno would have every right to give him those sad eyes.

So when Mark texts him  
‘Wyd?’ and then ‘Come over’ Jisung puts him in do not disturb and walks inside for his three hour bio lab and does not think about him at all. 

+++

“I think I messed up,” Mark announces, letting himself into Jeno’s apartment. He ignores the way he and Jaemin are half dressed and sits on the chair across from the couch. 

Jeno sighs, long suffering and annoyed. “And how has, Mr absolutely fully capable, Mark Lee messed up?”

“Jisung is ignoring me.” He sighs, scratching his head. “I thought it was because he had a bio lab when I texted him to come over but it’s been a week and he hasn’t— we haven’t fucked in over a week.” He corrects bluntly. No time to sound like a simp because he’s _not._ If Jisung doesn’t want to do this anymore fine, but Mark at least deserves a text telling him as much. At least that way he can start to get his reputation in order even if he’s started to care less about that and more about the way tears welled up in Jisung’s eyes when Mark told him they were nothing. 

“So?” Jaemin says tightly, lips pursed like he’s angry. 

“So what the fuck is up with him? You’re his best friend.”

“What up is that he doesn’t want to be used by the person who took his virginity anymore!” Jaemin snaps. 

Mark’s heart falls to the pit of his stomach. “Sung was a virgin?” He says quietly.

“You mean you didn’t know?” Jeno says, just as quiet.

“No! Of course not!”

“So if you knew would you still be hurting him like this?” 

“It’s not like I’m his boyfriend,” Mark spits angrily. He doesn’t know why the emotion suddenly presses against his ribs, forcing his words to come out tangled and harsh. “I’m the one he started ignoring with no warning!”

“You fucked someone else, Mark!” Jaemin shouts. “Of course he wants nothing to do with you!”

“He didn't care!” Mark argues, standing to loom over Jaemin. “He still fucked me like nothing happened!”

“Because any part of you would’ve been enough!” Jeno yells, getting between them. “Until it wasn’t,” he says, quieter this time. 

Mark takes a step back, looking at the mix of realization and hurt on Jeno’s face. Jaemin is looking too, guilt clouding his features. “Jeno...”

Jeno shakes his head, eyes damp as he looks at Mark. “I guess Jisung is stronger than me, huh?” 

Mark wants to throw up. He can’t stomach the thought of being the one to put an expression like that on Jisung’s face. “I messed up,” he repeats. He realizes now why it mattered so much that Jisung didn’t text him back or that he hasn’t touched him in week and how the last time he did everything felt wrong and he couldn’t think of why. 

Because Jisung is in love with him and he thinks Mark thinks nothing of him. The same way Jeno thinks Jaemin doesn’t love him. “Yeah,” Jaemin agrees but he’s still staring at Jeno. 

Mark swallows thickly. “I gotta—I need to go.”

+++

They bump into each other on campus in the weirdest place. The honest truth is, Jisung does not feel like seeing Mark right now. He doesn’t trust himself not to fuck Mark right now because he could really use some positive attention. 

He’s still sweaty and gross from hours and hours of practice where he couldn’t get thoughts of mediocrity out of his head. He fucked up every turn and dip in the choreography and he just wants to curl up and cry. 

Mark doesn’t know that though. He wouldn’t care to know it either. He just smiles at Jisung, hand curling around his waist, the other brushing back his sweaty hair.“Where are you coming from?”

Jisung angles himself away from Mark’s gentle hands. He can’t handle this. “Practice.” He answers shortly. 

Mark is quick to notice his mood. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you care?” He snaps with more venom than he means but he can’t handle this fake shit. He knows Mark is only talking to him for a fuck and that’s it and Jisung just can’t deal with being thrown away right now. 

“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t care,” Mark says with an annoyed frown on his lips. 

“I just—“ he swallows around the lump in his throat trying to calm himself but he already knows he’s about to cry. 

“Hey. _Hey._ Why are you crying?” 

Any other time Jisung would find the panic in Mark’s eyes funny but he can’t bring himself to find humor in much of anything right now. He rubs at his eyes, frustrated. He hates crying in front of people. He can count the number of people he trusts to see him like this on one hand and Mark is certainly not one of them. 

Still, when Mark pulls him into a hug, fingers soothing down his spine, he melts, getting Mark’s shirt soggy with tears. “I just can’t do this anymore,” he mumbles. 

“Do what, exactly?” He sounds wary, maybe even hesitant but Jisung can’t see his face to confirm. 

“This college shit.”

“Ah,” he says softly. “You’re double majoring too, huh? I remember losing my goddamn mind freshmen year without two majors to juggle.”

“Well imagine sucking at both majors.”

“You don’t,” Mark answers firmly. 

Jisung pulls away, wiping his face. “You don’t even know my majors.”

There is an awkward amount of distance between. Too close for them to be talking but too far for any casual intimacy. Mark bridges the distance by grabbing Jisung’s hand. Their fingers interlock and Jisung’s heart pounds. “Tell me about them? I’ll show you mine if you show me yours type beat.”

Mark starts walking, pulling Jisung along. The campus is bustling with people during the lunch time rush, lines curved around fast food and coffee shops. There’s so many people that could see them but Mark doesn’t care. 

Jisung follows in a contemplative silence,so lost in his thoughts he doesn’t notice they’ve walked to the other side of campus. 

“I’ve never been over here,” 

“I practically live here,” Mark replies. Jisung thinks he knows the feeling when he sees they’re in a recording studio. 

“I’m a dance major,” Jisung blurts. Mark squeezes his hand even as he struggles to unlock the studio one handed. 

“You guys have a recital coming up soon right? Is that why you were crying?”

“I’m also majoring in kinesiology. I got a C on a test. That’s why,” he admits and then, “How do you know about our recital?” No one should know about it unless they’re performing in it. They haven’t even started planning their advertisements. 

“I mixed the music for you guys.”

“No way! Hyung that’s so cool! Will you come watch me perform?” Mark huffs a quiet laugh and Jisung flushes, embarrassed by his eagerness. 

“Sure, I’ll watch you, Sungie.”

“N-not me specifically—! My team and I...”

Mark pats the back of his head condescendingly. “Either way...” He says but he’s not really paying attention, taking a seat and loading up a computer. 

Jisung leans forward to stare at what Mark is doing. “Sit.” Jisung pulls a seat up. “So, kinesiology? How come?”

“Pretty self-explanatory. I wanna be a kinesiologist.”

Mark puts a pair of headphones around Jisung’s head, leaving only one of his ears covered. “And dancing?”

“I secretly auditioned and when I got in I told my parents I was going to double major.” 

A few clicks on the keyboard and beats are filtering in his ear. “How long have you been dancing?”

“Since I was three?” Jisung says, a little distracted by the lyrics and the deep rasp of Mark’s voice. “This is uh,” 

“Missing something...” Mark murmurs, clicking and rearranging things before starting the track over. 

“I was gonna say horny,” Jisung squeaks, face pinking up. Mark smirks to himself but doesn’t deem him with a response. Slowly but surely, Jisung can see Mark getting completely absorbed into the music. Yet every time Jisung shifts beside him Mark’s hand soothes along his thigh like he’s only attuned to the music and Jisung. 

He starts to drift off, head against the table and Mark’s hand massaging the nape of his neck. 

“Hey, Sungie.” 

“Mm?”

“Let me record you.”

Jisung raises his eyebrows dubiously. “Record me? Doing what exactly?”

“Moaning,” he says, completely unashamed. “Lemme use your voice on a track.”

Jisung feels his face flood with red, in both anger and embarrassment. He says it like they’re together. Like everything is just normal and they’re back to being friends with benefits. Like sex would solve any of his problems right now instead of just adding to his stress. But even if he didn’t say they were done explicitly Mark can’t possibly be this dense. “No,” he says simply. 

Mark frowns. Jisung rolls his eyes. Mark hasn’t heard the word enough in his life and Jisung is tired of being the one to remind him it exists. 

“No one will know if you—“

“Kiss me.” He demands because it’s the one thing he knows Mark won’t agree to. “Kiss me and I’ll think about it.”

It’s Mark’s turn to be flustered. “What, no!” He turns back to the computer, grumbling. “That has nothing to do with what I asked.”

“You always tell me no, hyung.” Because it’s true. The amount of times Jisung has done what Mark wanted just to be denied this every time is too high. 

“I give you whatever you want,” Mark argues back stubbornly. 

“Except this,” Jisung presses. He isn’t going to back down this time because he knows. He’s seen the way Mark’s eyes linger on the shape of his lips, pupils dilating before he forces himself to maintain eye contact. 

“You’re not my boyfriend.”

“It’s just kissing.”

“Shut up.”

“Hyung—“

Mark seals their mouths together. 

Jisung remembers kissing Jaemin. He was demanding and rushed, uncaring of Jisung’s inexperience. He kissed like he had something to prove even though Jisung was the only one he should have been trying to impress. 

Mark doesn’t kiss that way. He gives so much. He gives him gentle bites and sucks on his bottom lip. He gives him time to explore and navigate this whole kissing business. His spine tingles every time their lips touch, over and over. Mark is tentative in a way that surprises him. It’s then, he realizes, with their mouths pressed together why Mark never kissed him. It’s so telling, the way his touch is reverent against Jisung’s jaw and he swallows down every sigh and hitch in his breathe like he can’t live without it. 

“You kissed me,” 

Mark laughs, quick and short. He’s embarrassed, Jisung realizes, pleased. “Yeah.”

“Why?” Even though he was begging for it, he’s still in shock. 

“I wanted to. I’ve wanted to for a while.”

“O-oh,” he stutters. 

Mark kisses him again, this time slipping his tongue past his lips, slow and sensual. The base of his spine tingles when Mark draws him closer. He moans when he bites at his lip teasingly. “That. Is what I wanna use for this track.”

“You’re so gross.”

“Is that a no?”

Jisung folds his arms. “...No.”

“Look. I want to keep kissing you. I want to keep doing all of this and I know I fucked up but you’ve become this permanent thing in my life and I don’t want to lose that.”

“So you want to date me?” Jisung says smugly. He’s half joking, half hopeful. 

Mark blushes furiously and Jisung nearly squeals in delight. “I didn’t say all that—“

“No you just confessed your love for me—“

“I never said all that!” He says defensively. 

Jisung ignores him. “You wanna be my boyfriend and be exclusive.”

“Yes! So can you please stop being annoying before I change my mind.”

Jisung kind of just short circuits. No thoughts head empty the whole nine yards. “You want to date me?” He asks quietly. 

“Yes,” Mark says firmly, taking his hand in his. “I want to date you.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“Okay.”

“Okay—? Okay!” 

“Okay, hyung.” Mark pulls him into his lap, already leaning up for a kiss. 

Jisung meets him halfway.

+++  
Days melt into weeks which turn into months of Mark being a constant in his life. Jisung kind of just orbits around him uselessly, hopelessly obsessed with him. 

“It’s disgusting, really,” Donghyuck comments, prodding at a hickey on Jisung’s neck. He winces, shifting away. “I’ve never seen him so whipped.”

“Same,” Renjun comments. “He could really cool it with the hickies though. Your recital is in a week.”

Jisung had meant to tell Mark as much but they’ve both been so busy last night was the first time they’ve seen each other in a week and Jisung just wanted to be fucked face first in the mattress. His recital was the last thing on his mind for the first time in weeks. “You can’t say we’re as bad a Jaemin and Jeno though.”

“True,” Chenle agrees, not looking up from his phone. “All of you disgust me though.”

“Aw, Chenle, just says you’re jealous,” Donghyuck teases, plopping himself in Chenle’s lap and disrupting whatever game he was playing. Chenle shoves him away but not before Donghyuck gets a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

Jisung’s eyebrows shoot into his hairline as he notes the peculiar expression on Renjun’s face when he looks at the two of them. Even though he starts back up his game like nothing happened, Jisung notices Chenle’s pink cheeks. 

Huh. He definitely doesn’t want to open that can of worms but he can’t wait to tell Mark about it later tonight. 

Speaking of, “Guys I think Im gonna go meet Mark at the studio,”

“Just say you wanna fuck your boyfriend and go!” 

Jisung flips them off. 

+++

“Jisung’s in my bed right now,” Mark says carefully, scratching at his bare stomach. 

Jeno quirks an eyebrow, sipping at his tea. “He usually is. As boyfriends usually are.”

Mark makes a face at the word boyfriend. “No, yeah. I know. It’s just he’s in my bed and I couldn’t stop looking at him. And it’s weird. How right it felt.”

“Oh?” Jeno gives a secretive smile. “Does he know?”

“Know what?” Mark snaps grumpily.

“That you’re in love with him.”

“I’m not...” 

There’s a soft pattering of footsteps and then Jisung appears in the kitchen, “Hyung,” he calls softly. He clearly doesn’t know Jeno is home otherwise he wouldn’t be in Mark’s hoodie and probably nothing else. Mark’s heart flutters in his chest noting the sleep marks on his cheek and is messy black hair. 

Jeno clears his throat pointedly and Jisung finally notices him, cheeks pinking. “Oh Jeno! Shit I—“ He looks down at his bare thighs then sighs. “Bring me breakfast?” He pouts at Mark. 

“Y-yeah.”

Jisung leaves the room and suddenly Mark can breathe again. “Not in love huh?”

“Shut up.”

He returns to Jisung with a plate of scrambled eggs and a pop tart, a cup of coffee for them to share. Jisung lays on the bed, fingers splayed on Mark’s side and eyes shut. He isn’t sleeping though. He has earphones in his ear and he hums softly to himself every now and then. 

“What’re you listening to?”

“You,” Jisung says softly.

“Mm,” Mark says, flustered like he is each time Jisung admits to listening to his music. 

Jisung sits up taking the coffee mug from him. He makes a face at the black liquid but still sips at it. They usually stock up on creamer for Jisung but he’s been staying here so much they ran out. Mark knows that he’ll drink it if they share though. He’s weird like that, in the way that he’ll drink or eat anything Mark will as long as they share it. 

“Eggs and a pop tart,” he laughs. “My favorite.”

Mark splutters. “Hey! I tried!”

“I know,” Jisung says and then, “You take care of  
me.”

Because I love you, he could say. Jisung would say it back probably. But something like nerves or maybe even fear drops in the pit of his stomach. He doesn’t say anything, just accepts the fork full of eggs Jisung offers him.

Not today.  


+++  
A lot of things are going wrong tonight, he muses. He was late to Jisung’s dorm because of a shitty professor holding him up after class so his boyfriend who's been missing for the past week practicing and cramming for an exam that landed on the same day as his recital. Then he spilled coffee on his tie he bought just for this night now he’s extremely underdressed with his button up popped open. And now he’s here waiting outside with Donghyuck to meet Renjun and the rest of Jisung’s friends. 

Mark pulls in a deep breath reminding himself this isn’t his night. It’s all about Jisung. 

Still it’s horribly awkward to be in the same space as Donghyuck without the aid of alcohol or human shields between them. Mark is painfully sober and staring at his ex while they both wait on his new boyfriend to show up.

The truth is he hasn’t talked to Donghyuck since the last time they fucked. He doesn’t consider that night at Korean barbecue much of anything because Mark couldn’t find the words to say. He wouldn’t even call that last conversation talking either, more like a screaming match in the hall of their dorm because Donghyuck thought it would be a good idea to break up with him and tell him he was moving in with Renjun in the same breath. 

Renjun, who's the reason they fought damn near every week. Renjun who’s the one Donghyuck is dating now. “So… you think they did this on purpose?”

“Renjun would never subject me to you on purpose.” Mark’s eyebrows shoot into his hairline. Ok, so they’re being hostile he sees. Which isn’t fair because Mark wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Jisung and he knows the same goes for Donghyuck. He has nothing to say to him that he wasn’t already screamed in his face or written in his songs. 

But Jisung had asked and Mark is whipped beyond belief and Maybe even a little in love with the way Jisung pouts at him when he wants Mark to do what he says. 

“Wow. So we’re going to act like I'm the one who fucked you over.”

“You were fucking toxic.”

“And you weren’t? You were in love with someone else the whole time!” 

“He was my friend, Mark!”

“Well it didn’t stay that way for long! It barely took you any time for you to fall out of love with me.”

Donghyuck grabs his shirt pulling him close. “You think I don’t still love you, dumbass? I’m always going to love you! We were each other’s first everything!” Mark blinks and then blinks again, heart clenching. He curls his hand around Donghyuck’s wrist and he lets go of Mark’s shirt. “That doesn’t mean we were right for each other.”

“And you think Renjun is?”

“Maybe.”

“Huh,” Mark says quietly more to himself than anything. He wonders if Jisung is right for him. He was sure Donghyuck was but he was younger then and didn’t know much of anything. He was just a year older than Jisung when he started his tumultuous relationship with Donghyuck. What if he’s just setting Jisung up for the same heartbreak. 

“If you hurt him again I will end you.”

“Ok,” he says because he isn’t dumb enough to promise he won’t ever hurt Jisung again. 

Finally, Renjun shows up, planting a kiss on Donghyuck’s mouth. With a slight pang in his chest he sees Donghyuck meant when he said you use to look at me like that. To see his first love fall all over again for someone new leaves him with desperation in his chest. Desperation to  
take back what once was his and desperation to forget what it meant to have Donghyuck at all. 

He didn’t know about the solo. Mark’s eyes followed Jisung from end to end of the stage, glued to him but he didn’t know about this. His breath hitches when the lights dim and it’s just Jisung center stage, chest heaving. 

Jisung is living, breathing art, fluid and spectacular and graceful on the stage. He’s powerful and emotional and Mark is left breathless to see his music be given new strength and meaning by his beautiful boy.He is so in love no wonder even Jeno’s oblivious ass called him out on it. 

The show ends with Jisung’s solo, curtains drawing on his curled up form in the middle of the stage, lights shining around him before they fade to black. 

The whole crowd erupts in applause but Mark is sure his cheers are the loudest. 

After a few minutes of rhe dancers and stage hands being credited, Jisung’s friends start to make their way backstage, Mark following behind them. 

By the time he gets back there Jaemin is already squishing Jisung’s cheeks and baby talking him to death. Mark cringes like he alway does when Jaemin’s cute side decides to make an appearance. Jisung bats his hand away just for him to be passed around his friend group for hugs and kisses and gifts. Mark stands watching all the praise turn his cheeks a pretty pink. 

Finally, his friends give him space to breathe and space for Mark to stand in front of him, offering his own bouquet of flowers. “You did so amazing, my love.”

Jisung’s grin is wide, his pupils blown from adrenaline. He throws himself into Mark’s arms, crushing the flowers Mark bought for him. “Thank you, hyung!” He giggles and Mark is dying, he goes in to kiss but Jisung freezes, pulling back. “Wait… what did you just call me?”

“I— what?” He says in shock, trying to backtrack. Did he just fuck up? No, he didn’t he told Jisung he did amazing and then— oh. He pulls away, flushing from his roots to his toes. “I— fuck.”  
Jisung is in a similar state, pink racing to fill both of his cheeks. Fuck it, Mark thinks. Jisung is _his_ and he _does_ love him and Jisung deserves to hear it. “I love you.”

“O-oh,” he stutters. “You do?”

Mark’s heart is pounding so hard he can feel his temple pulse with it. He’s never been scared of rejection before and telling Donghyuck he loved him was easy but Jisung has always had something for Mark to fear. “Do you?” He asks, swallowing thickly. He hasn’t cried in years but he just might tonight if Jisung doesn’t—

“Hyung,” he starts. “You remember that night Jaemin had to call you because I was so high I couldn’t stop crying and you had to pick me up and you were _so_ mad because you had an 8am the next day?” He says in one breath. 

Mark nods along even though he’s confused and a ball of anxiety. It was their first fight, not even two months ago. He didn’t mean to argue with him but he was tired and annoyed that Jisung refused to tell him why he had been crying. More than anything he had been worried but didn’t have the words to express that to Jisung so his words came out angry. He doesn’t like to think about that night. He remembers the fear coming in equal parts I could lose him and I might have to let go of him. “That was when I realized I loved you. And I couldn’t stop crying because I never thought you would love me too.”

All the tension leaves his body. He pulls Jisung close, resting their foreheads together. “Oh,” he laughs softly and then a little harder at the absurdity of it all. “You’re so dumb. Leave it to you to get high to realize you love me.” 

“Don't laugh at me!”

“I’m not,” he kisses Jisung hard, squeezing him flush against him. “I’m laughing with you.” Jisung glares like he knows Mark is fucking with him. 

“You’re so annoying,” he smiles when he says it, tangling their fingers together. “Hey hyung… there’s something I forgot to mention.”

“Hm?”

“My parents are here.”

Mark shrugs. Obviously his parents are here, it’s Jisung’s first recital in college and he had a solo. It would be fucked up if they weren’t here. “Okay.”

Jisung sends him a look like Mark is stupid. “Oh. Oh! You want me to meet your parents?” Mark is sure the cold sweat he breaks out into is instantaneous. Mark is horribly unprepared for that one. He might throw up. “I don’t even have a tie!” He says a little hysterically. 

Jisung bursts out laughing. “I’m just messing with you.”

“You brat!”

“Actually I was thinking we could sneak away? Before my parents try to force me to visit home?” His fingers toy with the collar of his dress shirt as he gives Mark fuck me eyes. 

Mark rests a hand on his ass. “Let’s go home.”

A quick kiss is placed on his lips before he sighs, “You read my mind.”

**~Fin.**


End file.
